The Call and the Road Ahead

Dear Larry,

Not sure if you know this, but we were waiting for a call from the Radiology Oncology office today. When we went, they had told us that we were going to be put on a list and discussed about at this big Wednesday Doctor meeting. Its where all these big-wig Doctors get together and talk about special and difficult cases. Basically, they talked about us behind out backs.

Anyway, they called. We're going to be going through surgery. The Neurosurgeons office will be calling us sometime this week, before or on Friday. Until then, it is sort of a waiting and preparing game. Which is slowly driving me insane, but I get why this type of thing can't be rushed. After all, I kinda need my brain and spine and all the things up there, 'cept you of course.

So, what am I going to do in the meantime? Try and get healthy.

Because I'm sort of like this:

... Buuuut, I'm also kinda like this:

Regardless, it needs to be done. One of the Doctors Monday had stated that if I just walked 30 mins a day, to get my heart and lungs ready for surgery, that would be enough. But, honestly, this whole thing has scared me pretty bad. I was thinking about what if I wasn't young and someone in good health? What if I was bigger, or so unhealthy to the point of surgery not being an option? That scares the crap out of me. I gotta be around for a while, damnit!

So, an amazing bunch of people at work and my girlfriend and mom are all on board with helping me get ready and get healthier.  We do water races at work to see who drinks more water. Some coworkers are willing to go walking around the building. Kate and her Boyfriend, Matt,  is willing to join a gym with Jo and I.  I'm trying to stay away from the junk food and soda. Which, is kinda hard to do.  But, I want to get healthy.

Skinny doesn't necessarily mean healthy.

I'm trying to be healthy and happy. I'm not looking to go skin and bone.  I want to be comfortable with my body and I want to make it easier for the Doctors. I know I'm not going to be able to lose a ton of weight before the surgery, but I do want to be healthier.

Larry, that's all I got tonight. I'm still kind of feeling off. I guess its half because the stress is gone, but a new set of stress is setting in. Preparing for surgery, knowing it is coming down the line... Ugh.  And sometimes I feel super guilty being so nervous and sad. There are people out there that have it worse than I do, and I worry about those people. But, I guess you can't help worrying a little about yourself, ya know? ...

Well, you wouldn't know, Larry. You're just a dumb tumor.

Bed time!

Sincerly,
Tara

P.S
You stink, Lary.

P.S.S
No one likes you, Larry.