Monday, February 2, 2015

Radiologist Oncology Consultation Day

Dear Larry,

It is Day 7, and we had a big day today. Today was meet with the Radiologist Oncologist day! I was scared for most of the day. Fretting over nothing and over-preparing, which I knew I was doing but I couldn't stop myself. A had a few moments of laughter and smiles before I got to work, as when I walked into work there was a vase full of beautiful flowers and a bag from a comic book store sitting on my desk. One of my Co-Workers, Eugene, bought me flowers and Andy bought me a new mug (lemon grenade from Portal!) and an Alien figure ( Xenomorph kind, not the little green men). Eugune caught me before I went looking for him, by sneaking up behing me and scaring the crap outta me. But it was followed by the biggest hug. Couldn't even be mad at him. I went looking for Andy after, to thank him and  give him a hug, which I did. I chatted with him a bit, his and his wife just had the prettist baby girl. I was chomping at the bits to see more baby pictures, which he was more than willing to share. I have to say, he and his wife made a pretty little girl.


When I got back to my desk, I printed out a bunch of questions from the support group I'm involved with, filled out all the paperwork that was e-mailed to me... twice. I got a folder and put all the paperwork in the folder. Made sure I had a good pen to write with, and I even downloaded a voice recorder to tape everything the doctor was going to say. Then I just sat and stressed, trying to work.

My appointment was at 1:30. and around 11:45 I was really starting to freak out on the inside.Just on the inside, however! My mom called me around this time and informed me my kid was sick, so she wouldn't be able to go to with me, because she had to tend to the baby. This caused me to freak out a little bit more. I didn't blame my mom or anything, it was just the fact that she wasn't going to be there. I'm a mama's girl, always have been always will be. But, this was something that couldn't be avoided. I mean, you really can't tell a 5 year old to get over it and get better! That's not how it works.

I put on my big girl pants on, told my mom it was alright and that I love her, and moved on. At the very least I knew Jo-- my girlfriend-- was going to be there. Jo has been there throughout all of this, always holding my hand and keeping me level headed. So I was thankful that this appointment landed after the time she got off school. I don't know what I would of done if I have to do this by myself. Before I left work I stopped by the desk of one of my BFF's, Kate. We talked a moment, well.. most I said I was scared and freaked out a little bit. She gave me a hug and told me I'd be alright. She also crocheted me the coolest little multi-colored pumpkin hat and purple arm tubes. I promptly put the hat on my head and forced myself to get going. It was already 12:00, and if i didn't leave now, I'd be late.
Rocking the pumpkin hat and what I call my 'hug shirt' from Jim. :) 
I turned on some music, well, I had one song on repeat on the way to go get Jo. Cher, you haven't seen the last of me. It has sort of become a theme song. I sang at the top of my lungs driving down the highway. Once I picked up Jo, it was time to get serious again. We held hands the whole way to the Hospital, which was about a 15 to 20 min drive from her college. We talked about everything from food, to her school, to the appointment we were going to.

Before I knew it, we were there. We valeted the car and rushed inside, it was 1:20 and I didn't want to be late. I got my arm band, then started the trek down to the other end of the Hospital as Jo went and got us a subway sandwich to split.. our first real meal of the day. The walk to the back of the hospital seemed to never end. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest from nerves alone. I don't know what I was expecting, letting my nerves get like that. 

Down to the lower level and there I was. Standing in front of this large desk in the back center of the room. Two men sitting behind the desk, talking to a woman. I interrupted, politely of course, and the other gentleman pointed me to the other. I signed in, got more papers to fill out and a picture taken. The guy asked how I was, I said " scared". He smiled and said " You'll be fine, there are some fantastic doctors back there" nodding to the door. I smiled and went and sat down, and around this time Jo caught up with me with the food. 

We sat at a table and inhaled our halves of the sandwich, as we weren't sure how much time we would have before we were called back, Once we ate, we seats to something more comfortable than the hard seats we had been sitting on while we ate. I leaned against her, and she held me a moment, and kissed my forehead. 

The Nurse finally came and got us. 

Nurse Nicole sat us in a consultation room and asked a few questions about my symptoms. She took some vitals, laughed and joked with us as we nervously joked around. Finally, she left to go get one of the medical residents, who's full name slips my mind. I know it was Dr. Jason something. So, I'll just keep calling him Dr. Jason. 

Dr Jason looked like Chris Pratt almost, was super friendly and willing to listen to my terrible jokes and answer all my nervous questions. He asked me about what lead to this point, and what I thought was going on. I told him that we weren't 100 percent sure what the tumor was, but we were pretty sure it was a Chordoma. I told him everything I knew about Chordomas, ever little detail i could remember. Good and Bad. I think he was almost surprised I knew so much, as he just sat in his seat a moment, nodding. He then sighed and told me that, for the most part, I was correct. 

  I told him I had a whole checklist of questions I wanted to ask. He was very pleasant and told me to 'go for it'. I asked a couple, but soon realized that most of the questions I had were for the nuneurosurgeon. But, I got a couple of good questions in, like "what happens if we tried different treatment methods, or just didn't do anything". He looked at me, shook his head and said " that isn't an option". After all my questions, he made me due some basic movement tests. 

After those were done, he said he was going to go get Dr. Mehta. 

Dr. Mehta walked in, and I was surprised I wasn't looking at a 60 year old man. He was middle aged ( if that) and had a kind face. He shook both our hands and then sat down in front of me. He introduced himself and asked what I thought I had. I told him and he nodded. He tested my eyes again, and I think was a little surprised how doubled my vision was. 

He then said that he though surgery was going to be the best thing first. That he would like to being my case to the big meeting Radiologist and Surgeons have every Wednesday. He said the if it is a Chordoma, which he felt like it was, it was very resistant to radiation treatment. That he would be more comfortable with a biopsy and removal of the tumor and then to use radiation to treat the site where the tumor was. 

Jo asked him " What if the neurosurgeon decides it is too risky to try and remove the tumor, what happens? " he then looked us dead in the eye and said " Then we find someone who will do it. There are people that treating and operating on this type of tumor. This is all they do. " This put my mind to ease. I told him I was scared, and he told me that it was a natural feeling. But this tumor took a life time to grow and nothing was going to happen overnight.

I told him I was worried about the surgery.  He then took up all of the sudden and said  " i want to show you something. I'll be right back. " He came back in with a laptop and pulled up a picture of a Chordoma Tumor 6 times bigger than mine. He said this was a Chordorma that he just finished treating. He then pointed out a small corner and said " This is about the size of your tumor". He smiled and went on " This is the 1st surgery" moving to the second picture  "This is after the second," he then pointed to the last 2 " This is after the 3rd and 4th surgery. It's nearly gone." This just comforted me beyond words. He said " This tumor does have a chance of coming back, but the smaller they are.. the better." 

 He said that he would be putting my name on the list to be discussed on Wednesday, and that he felt surgery was going to be the best bet to start. He shook out hands again and excused himself. Dr. Jason saw us out, but not before showing me my scan and my tumor to compare the size of the one they had just showed me. Jo and I then left. 

So, here I am again. Just waiting. I don't know why I thought radiation might of been an option to kill this thing. But, i feel comfortable in knowing that I have the best Radiologit oncologist for the job. 

Oh well, Larry. Everything happens for a reason. And right now, I'm ready to fall asleep, as it is so late. So, i will talk to you tomorrow more. 

Sincerly, 
Tara

P.S.
You stink
P.S.S
No one likes you

2 comments:

  1. Screw you Larry! Magic pumpkin hat will destroy you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. онкология это I think this is an informative post and it is very useful and knowledgeable. therefore, I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article.

    ReplyDelete